Islam mandates justice (‘adl), equality (musawah), human dignity (karamah), and love and compassion (mawaddah wa rahmah) in relations among humans and in the family. These principles are also recognised as universal values and enshrined as rights in many national constitutions and international instruments. Islamic texts, universal human rights instruments, national laws and policies and social and economic indicators all point towards the need for marriage and family relationships based on equality and justice and restrictions on polygamy.

Support from Islamic sources

• The Shari‘ah signifies the path of fairness, equality and justice. This, in and of itself, supports Muslim family laws and practices based on relationships of equality and justice between all members of a family.
  
  
• In the Shari‘ah, marriage is a relationship of mutual love, mercy and kindness (muwaddah, sukun, rahmah). Surah Taubah 9:71 states, ‘The believers, men and women (mu’minun wal mu’minat), are protectors (awliyya) of one another …’, and Surah Rum 30: 21 states, ‘And among His Signs is this, that He created for you spouses (azwajan) from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy (tenderness) (mawaddatan wa rahmatan) between your (hearts). Verily in this are Signs for those who reflect’. These ayat suggest a mutuality, interdependence and equality between men and women, such that they rely on one another for cooperation and support and respect each other.
  
  
• Surah al-Baqarah 2:187 states ‘… they [your wives] are your garments (libasun lakum), and you are their garments (libasun lahunna) …’, which supports the idea of equality between man and woman and between husband and wife.
  
  
• Surah al-Baqarah 2:229 states that ‘the parties should either hold together on equitable terms (ma’ruf), or separate with kindness (ihsan)’.
  
  
• In the Qur’an, men and women are equal in creation and in the afterlife. Surah an-Nisa' 4:1 states that men and women are created from a single soul (nafs wahidah). One person does not come before the other, one is not superior to the other, and one is not the derivative of the other. A woman is not created for the purpose of a man. Rather, they are both created for the mutual benefit of each other.
  
  
• In the Qur’an, the term nusyuz is used for both women (Surah an-Nisa’ 4:34) and men (Surah an-Nisa’ 4:128). It is therefore more appropriate to define nusyuz as the disruption of marital harmony by either spouse rather than a woman’s disobedience to her husband.

Support from universal human rights standards

• Article 16(1)(c) of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) states that men and women should have ‘The same rights and responsibilities during marriage and at its dissolution’.
  
  
• Article 2(f) of CEDAW requires States Parties to undertake ‘to take all appropriate measures, including legislation, to modify or abolish existing laws, regulations, customs and practices which constitute discrimination against women’. Article 5 states that ‘States Parties shall take all appropriate measures: (a) To modify the social and cultural patterns of conduct of men and women, with a view to achieving the elimination of prejudices and customary and all other practices which are based on the idea of the inferiority or the superiority of either of the sexes or on stereotyped roles for men and women’.
  
  
• In the 2005 Non-Aligned Movement (NAM) Putrajaya Declaration, NAM countries made a commitment to ‘Review and amend all laws in order to identify and eliminate negative traditional and customary practices that discriminate against women’ (article 44(a)). They also committed to ‘[e]ducate men and boys to respect women and girls as equal partners in all spheres of life and society …’ (article 44(d)).

Support from national constitutions, laws and policies

► Because constitutions, laws and policies differ dramatically between countries, NGOs, activists, lawyers, academics and government officials should examine the laws and policies of their own countries to determine how to use these to promote equality in the family.

Support from social and cultural realities

• When both partners in a marriage do not have equal capacity to make decisions about the union, it can lead to adverse effects for the party who has less power in the relationship, generally the wife.

Examples from various countries

• Turkey: Under the 2001 reforms to the Civil Code as well as the October 2001 amendment to Article 41 of the Turkish Constitution, the family ‘is based on equality between spouses’. The spouses have joint decision-making powers regarding the family. They contribute toward family expenditures in accordance with their financial capabilities. The spouses jointly decide the place of the marital residence, and have equal rights over all matters relating to the family home. Neither spouse requires the other’s permission to work or to choose a profession, though the harmony and welfare of the marital union should be borne in mind when choosing and performing a job or profession. No law can force a wife to return to live with her husband.
  
  
• Morocco: In the 2004 reform of the Moudawana (Personal Status Code), there were changes in the philosophy around which the Code was organised, with a shift from the concept of ‘spending in exchange of obedience’ to the concept of ‘sharing the responsibility’ between the married couple. The language of the family code, not just the content, was reformed, in order to remove humiliating, demeaning or violent expressions from the law and replace them with language that was supportive for all members of the family. The Moudawana specifies the ‘mutual rights and duties between spouses’, including both the wife and the husband assuming the responsibility of managing and protecting household affairs and the children’s education and consultation on decisions.
  
  
• Tunisia: The spouses are to treat each other with kindness, make their conjugal life pleasant, and refrain from causing each other harm. They are to cooperate in running the affairs of the household and in ensuring the proper upbringing of children. The husband remains head of the family and as such is responsible for the needs of the wife and children according to his means and their status. If the wife has money, she is to participate in supporting the family, but the husband has no right over the wife’s money.
  
  
• United Kingdom: A new standard Muslim marriage contract launched in August 2008 by The Muslim Institute with the support and endorsement of religious leaders, community organisations and women’s groups across the country states that mutual rights and obligations of the husband and wife include ‘working collectively towards the socio-economic welfare and stability of the family’ and ‘Apart from a formal contractual obligation marriage is also a relationship between two human beings, a man and a woman, that is ideally based on love, mercy and kindness. The partners are therefore expected to base their behaviour not just on legal rights and duties but on the spirit of goodwill, generosity, consideration and sympathy, taking into account each other's individual likes and dislikes. They are expected to conduct all family affairs through mutual consultation in the spirit of giving more than less’.

Support from Islamic sources

• Islam promotes monogamy and only permits polygamy as an alternative in exceptional circumstances. Surah an-Nisa 4:3 states: 'if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly [with your wives] then marry only one'
   
• When the Qur'an was revealed, it imposed limitations upon the pre-Islamic practice of polygamy. In fact, it is the only religious scripture to contain the phrase 'marry only one'.
   
• The verse in Surah an-Nisa that allows polygamy if a man can treat all his wives justly was revealed after a battle which had resulted in many men being killed, leaving behind many war widows and orphans. As men were chiefly breadwinners in that society, the widows found it difficult to provide for their children. It was in this context that polygamy was tolerated in Islam: to provide for the welfare of widows and the orphaned children. Even in that post-war situation, the Qur'an discontinued the then-existing practice of unlimited polygamy and mandated that monogamy be the norm unless the man could deal justly with all of his wives. In the present day, an exceptional situation like the aftermath of a battle does not exist, and it is extremely difficult if not impossible for one person to treat multiple people equally and justly. Thus, the continuum of reform suggests that polygamy should be even more restricted than it was in the situation discussed in the Qur'an.
   
• Those who support polygamy often refer to the Sunnah (practice) of the Prophet (s.a.w.) and tend to forget the fact that the Prophet was monogamous for more than twenty-five years, i.e. throughout the lifetime of his first wife Siti Khadijah (r.a.). His polygamous marriages after her death were to widowed or divorced women for political and tribal reasons. The only virgin he married was his second wife, Aishah (r.a.). There is also an authentic Tradition that the Prophet forbade his son-in-law, Ali ibn Abi Talib (r.a.) from marrying another woman unless Ali first divorced the Prophet's daughter, Fatimah (r.a.). A great-granddaughter of the Prophet, Sakinah binti Hussayn, a granddaughter of Ali and Fatimah, put various conditions into her marriage contract, including the condition that her husband would have no right to take another wife during their marriage.
   
• A marriage contract giving the wife an option for obtaining a divorce on the ground of the husband's polygamy is not a new interpretation or innovation. On the contrary, it is supported by traditional practices from the early days of Islam. Moreover, the Hanbali school of law, which is regarded as the most conservative school among the four schools in Sunni Islam, did not hesitate to recognise the wife's right to exercise such an option. This right is now recognised in various Muslim countries in the Middle East, including among the Muslim communities who are not followers of the Hanbali school, e.g. in Jordan, Morocco, Egypt and Iran. Tunisia has gone further and forbade polygamy outright, on the ground that it is impossible in these days for a man to be able to deal justly with more than one wife.

Support from universal human rights standards

• Polygamy is incompatible with the fundamental human rights principle of equality between men and women. In the Convention on All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), the emphasis is on the importance of women being able to enjoy and exercise human rights in both the public and the private spheres, including the home. The CEDAW Committee has stated in general recommendation 21: 'Polygamous marriage contravenes a woman's right to equality with men, and can have such serious emotional and financial consequences for her and her dependants that such marriages ought to be discouraged and prohibited.'
   
• Polygamy provides for inequality in the family with regard to decision-making and control. The husband, but not the wife, can make decisions about the composition of the family and the financial direction it takes, thus leading to different rights and responsibilities within the marriage. This violates a provision laid out the Universal Declaration of Human Rights: '[Men and women] are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution' (article 16(1)), which is echoed in two provisions of CEDAW: 'The same right to enter into marriage' (article 16(1)(a)) and 'The same rights and responsibilities during marriage and at its dissolution' (article 16(1)(c)). These rights must, of course, be read together with the right to freedom from discrimination and the right to equality between men and women more broadly.
   
• Essentially, polygamy makes the wife an object of the marriage, giving the husband complete autonomy and the wife no power in the household. Furthermore, polygamy can often result in inequality between the multiple wives, as one wife will have more seniority and power, both economic and psychological, within the household. For these reasons and more, being in a polygamous relationship also violates a woman's right to dignity. She has no power within the household, she cannot make decisions about the course of her own life, and she might feel degraded or belittled by the husband marrying an additional wife.
   
• Article 16(1)(h) of CEDAW specifies that States must work to ensure 'The same rights for both spouses in respect of the ownership, acquisition, management, administration, enjoyment and disposition of property, whether free of charge or for a valuable consideration'. By giving the husband the ability to marry multiple women, thus make decisions about the family's financial management, the law allowing polygamy violates a woman's rights. It is for this reason that if polygamy is practiced at all, women must have increased control over financial matters.
   
• The practise of polygamy thus results in discrimination against women as individuals and as a group. The definition of discrimination against women in article 1 of CEDAW is 'any distinction, exclusion or restriction made on the basis of sex which has the effect or purpose of impairing or nullifying the recognition, enjoyment or exercise by women, irrespective of their marital status, on a basis of equality of men and women, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural, civil or any other field'. A woman in a polygamous relationship can be discriminated against both emotionally and materially, as there is really no way to be completely fair and just where relationships are concerned.
   
• Women can be coerced into entering polygamous relationships or existing wives are coerced into consenting to additional wives. This violates the 'free and full consent to marriage' provisions of numerous human rights instruments.
   
• The Preamble to CEDAW states, 'a change in the traditional role of men as well as the role of women in society and in the family is needed to achieve full equality between men and women'. Polygamous cultural practices have been reformed through legislation in many times and situations, including in the time of the Prophet (s.a.w.) and in recent decades in Muslim countries around the world.

Support from national constitutions, laws and policies

â–º Because constitutions, laws and policies differ dramatically between countries, NGOs, activists, lawyers, academics and government officials should examine the laws and policies of their own countries to determine how to use these to promote equality in the family.

Support from social and cultural realities

• Monogamy is the norm in Islam; polygamy is not and was never a widespread practice. Rather, it was an exception to the general rule and practice of monogamy.
   
• Polygamy was an institution that existed in various civilizations, religions and cultures in many parts of the world, including among the Jews, Chinese, Indians and Mormon Christians, until it was abolished by laws as governments realised the injustices it inflicted on women. For instance, the United States banned polygamy under the Anti-Bigamy Act of 1862, and the Mormon Church officially renounced polygamy in 1907. In Malaysia, polygamy was practised among the Chinese and Indian Hindu communities until it was forbidden under the Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act, which came into force in 1982. Unfortunately, people increasingly associate polygamy with Islam. This misconception appears to regard polygamy as an exclusive right conferred upon Muslim men, and those who object to the abuse of polygamy among Muslims are often accused of being 'un-Islamic' and subject to Western influences.
   
• Socially, polygamy disadvantages and discriminates against both the existing and the subsequent wives. If women are financially dependent on husbands and husbands are allowed to marry again without strict oversight into their finances, it could lead to economic difficulties for the existing and subsequent wives.
   
• Severely limiting polygamy to only exceptional circumstances, as was the case in the time of the Prophet (s.a.w.), would help strengthen marital relationships. By providing women with greater security and a guaranteed role in the family, the couple and their children will be better able to grow and develop as a family unit. Currently, existing wives often agree to another wife in the family because they are afraid the husband will divorce them if they do not consent.
   
• Women affected by polygamy often incur a great deal of intimidation, humiliation, and other social and psychological costs that accompany polygamy. Limiting or banning polygamy will help alleviate these costs and, in turn, provide for stronger marriages.
   
• Polygamy can also have detrimental effects on children, as additional wives often results in more children who must share limited amounts of their father's resources and time. This also can lead to conflicts within the families if the wives and children feel forced to compete with one another for the finite amount of resources and attention provided by the husband. It can also promote low social and economic status among the women, especially if they are financially dependent on the husband in the first place.
   
• It is no longer necessary for men to marry widows or orphans to protect them, since women in the 21st century are able to provide and care for themselves.

Examples from various countries

• Tunisia: Polygamy was prohibited under the 1956 law under the understanding of Surah an-Nisa 4:129 ('You are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire') that no husband can treat multiple wives equally. It is a criminal offence that can lead to imprisonment or a fine. A polygamous marriage is considered irregular and subject to nullification, though the woman can claim her mahr; the legal paternity of the children is recognised; and the woman must fulfil 'iddah before remarrying.
   
• Turkey: The Turkish Civil Code includes a ban on polygamy. The 2001 overhaul abolished the legal principle 'the head of the marriage union is the man', instead giving men and women equal roles in family matters.
   
• Morocco: The new Moudawana establishes monogamy as the norm, stating that polygamy is forbidden when there is the risk of inequity between the wives or when the wife stipulates in the marriage contract that her husband will not take another wife. The court will not authorise a polygamous marriage if the man does not prove an exceptional and objective justification and if the man does not have sufficient resources to support the two families and guarantee all maintenance rights, accommodation and equality in all aspects of life.
   
• Saudi Arabia, Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon: Women can stipulate in the marriage contract that the husband cannot take another wife. If the husband breaches this term of the marriage contract, the woman has the right to divorce.

(For more information on the laws of these and other countries, see the Women Living Under Muslim Laws handbook entitled Knowing Our Rights: Women, laws and customs in the Muslim world)